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Thursday, May 23, 2019
War on Air Conditioning Saving Tax Payers Millions
Posted by Chops
A police officer in San Diego, California bravely confronts a citizen seeking HVAC service.

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A drastic and controversial energy-saving measure enacted by the United States Congress has proven to be effective in saving tax payers millions of dollars.

The act, entitled the ''Fuck You And Your Air Conditioning Act'', has mandated that an armed police force remained stationed outside of HVAC companies and big box home repair stores. Those wanting to service and/or install HVAC units are violently harassed by their unpredictable local police departments.

The act is very popular with conservatives because it creates jobs and allows under-trained personnel to threaten innocent citizens with firearms.

''It's a win-win,'' said NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre. ''The only thing that stops a bad HVAC user with a gun, is a good HVAC user with a gun.''

Frightened citizens have opted to stay home in sweltering fear rather than get their air conditioners repaired. As a result, sales of oscillating and box fans have exploded.

''Drastic times call for drastic measures,'' said Texas Senator Ted Cruz. ''Scaring the shit out of our citizens is a small price to pay for cost savings and job creation.''

Liberal representatives could not be reached for comment because they were too busy cowering in fear inside their homes.

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